Bark Thins. Make-my-doctor happy, non-GMO chocolate combined with sea salt and almonds. They are my kryptonite.
So, when we swung by Costco on Thursday night so that my husband could pick up some snacks for his men’s retreat this weekend, I decided to pick up a little snack for myself. I mean, they were on sale for $6 and some change. That’s a steal for fair-trade chocolate. Costco practically forced me to buy them.
Now it’s Sunday morning. The Bark Thins have lived in our home for sixty hours and, already, most of them are gone.
I wish this was a fictional tale.
See, friends. The truth is: I still struggle with food. Somedays I do great. Others (such as weekends when my husband’s gone and I’m left alone with a giant bag of Bark Thins, for example) I stumble.
I’m not an alcoholic, addicted to porn, or a serial killer. I’m not a chronic liar, gambler, thief or adulterer. But, I am a glutton. And, according to the Bible’s standard of holiness, that’s a problem.
My heart. Oh my heart is so tricky! You see it talks me into things. I know it’s not the voice of the Holy Spirit. It’s that other voice. The one that says just a few more pieces of delicious, chocolatey goodness aren’t a big deal. It whispers that no one is watching. It comforts me with lies like, “This is the last time you’ll get more. You’re done after these two.” And, then, somehow, it gets away with telling me that. exact. same. line. all over again, five minutes later.
Food and I, we have our battles. And, my heart tries to deceive me into believing that it’s no big deal. I’m a busy person. I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I’m not overweight enough to get any doctor’s attention. I bury my issues with food down deep. “I’ll deal with that later, when I’m not so busy.” I say.
Later never arrives.
Until. . .a few weeks ago when I connected (through Pinterest) with Asheritah Ciuciu. Randomly, she asked if she could send me a copy of her new book. I had no idea what it was about or who she was really. But, I like books. So, I said, “Sure!”
What??? A book about food, being full, and finding satisfaction?
Surely this was no coincidence.
I think God wants me to work on my food issues. And, Asheritah Ciuciu’s book “Full: Food, Jesus and the Battle for Satisfaction” is the tool he’s using to start the work.
You see, I wrote my own book on body image that will be released this June. It’s called Compared to Who? and in it I talk about my struggles with disordered eating. There’s an intricately woven relationship between food, disordered eating and body image issues that I’ve been untangling for the past five years now.
Although God has done a tremendous work to set me free from disordered eating, and an even bigger work to take me to a place where my body image no longer consumes me. There’s still work to be done in my relationship with food. I still run to it for solace after a hard day (like my friend Amanda does in this post on emotional eating) or think about it a little too much.
I still eat 3/4 of the bag of Bark Thins on the weekend my husband leaves town.
Body Image and Food Issues
As for my journey, I believe I had to solve my body image issues first, before I could tackle my food issues.
Because every previous attempt at solving my food issues always had one primary motivation: getting skinny.
I’d tell myself, “I really need to stop being so gluttonous!” But, my heart’s motivation was not so to please God with obedience. My heart desired a thinner body more than holiness.
God couldn’t honor that.
Now that He’s brought me to a place where I’m free from obsessing over my looks, we can do the hard work of digging out why I’m still running to food.
That’s where Asheritah’s book, “Full” comes in.
Asheritah is a straight-shooter. She’s an honest sojourner through the book, not a holier-than-thou know-it-all. I appreciate this approach. (We all struggle and those people who try to pretend they’ve never stumbled drive me nuts.)
In fact, her opening story was one I could relate to, maybe a little too well! She talks about cleaning up after a child’s birthday party and digging into the leftover cake. If you’ve ever had to cut off “just a little more” to make it look even or to try to cover for the giant piece you took, just know . . .Asheritah gets it. (And so do I!)
Here’s a snippet about the book more generally:
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of overeating, yo-yo dieting, and obsessive thoughts about food, you know how hopeless this struggle can feel like.
But the answer isn’t finding a new diet or a miracle pill. The answer is seeking satisfaction in the right place.
Join Asheritah Ciuciu as she shares honestly about her own battles with food and reveals the path to freedom. You’ll discover the joy of living free from food fixation so you can experience deeper satisfaction in Christ, gain a renewed sense of purpose, and yes, even enjoy good food (without regret).
Friends, I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend you read it too.
It’s filled with great tips, some that I’ve already incorporated into my life and others–like only eating dessert when your husband’s around–that I probably SHOULD incorporate in my life. ASAP.
If food is your struggle, you don’t have to stay stuck. Start your path to freedom now. Asheritah Cicuciu can help.
**I use affiliate links in this post. Any purchases you make through these clicks will help support the ministry of Compared to Who? Thank you!