I’m a big girl. It hasn’t always been that way. I’ve struggled with my weight on and off for over 20 years.
Though I have eight children, it really has nothing to do with all the babies. Neither will I place blame on genetics. It’s simply that too often I have chosen joy in food over joy in Christ. Sin. Period. Idolatry. Period. My issue is gluttony. Psalm 23 would look a little like this if I were the author and writing it from a place of complete transparency:
Food is my shepherd
I shall always want.
Gluttony maketh me to hide out in the closet with a bag of Twix
It leadeth me beside the still hum of the refrigerator
My obsession with food destroyeth my soul.
It leadeth me in the paths of the convenience food aisle for its name sake.
I am in no way justifying my sin. It is one that I wrestle with year after year. I have tried to punish myself with wearing horrible-for-me clothes in an attempt to hide. I have tried to justify myself by wearing clothes that “honor my curves.”
Like most women, I love a cute, flattering outfit. Lane Bryant has been a favorite of mine for finding cute clothes for my larger bottom half. I can walk in there and find jeans that fit without feeling embarrassed by my size. There’s no need to apologize to the sales girl helping me. I feel at peace walking into Lane Bryant and buying clothes.
Is the “Opposite” of Skinny Better?
For many years larger women have been made to feel less than. ‘Skinny is Beautiful’ has been the mantra as long as I can remember. This is absolutely wrong. It is no different than saying that one color of skin better than another color of skin. Wrong. Period.
But should the goal be to defy the misnomer that skinny is better? At what cost?
Lane Bryant came up with a new commercial. It includes a handful of women making moves similar to what one might see at a strip club. This is when you’ll find me yelling at the TV “save it for your husband!” The women in the commercial, and those in charge of marketing at Lane Bryant, are trying to win you over to the side that screams, “Big is equal.”, “Honor our curves!” “Treat me the same” and, “WORSHIP ME”.
And that’s exactly what they are saying. No, literally, that’s what they are saying – in the commercial. The song playing is “Worship” by Lizzo. She instructs listeners to [put their] “hands to the sky, worship me. . . Patiently, quietly, faithfully, worship me”
According to Lane Bryant “Curves. Confidence. It’s the New Skinny.”
Really? Is it? Is a “new skinny” the answer to our body image problems? I know, and you know, that big girls are not treated the same as thin/skinny girls. (The fact is that we shouldn’t be treating each other differently no matter our size, but that’s not the point of this post.)
Can we solve anything by having people worship us–no matter our size?
A story Heather Creekmore shares in her book, Compared to Who?, gives us a glimpse into the life of model Cameron Russell (and this girl is skinny!). In her Ted talk that Heather quotes in the book, Russell says, “If you are ever wondering. ‘If I have thinner thighs and shinier hair will I be happier?’ You just need to meet a group of models because they have the thinnest thighs and the shiniest hair and the coolest clothes, and they are the most physically insecure women on the planet.”
The rush of plus size models is still pretty new, but I bet at some point we’ll hear a new truth there too: plus size models aren’t any more secure because they are showing off their curves on national television. In fact, I’ve heard stories that when they start to lose weight, they feel as insecure about losing their jobs as any other model.
We will never be satisfied if what we are trying to attain is glory meant only for God. When we are saying (if only in our heads), “Worship Me!” we are missing part of our unique purpose as God’s creation. Worshipping me will never give me what I’m hoping for, which is peace. That only comes when I realize that my value rests in Christ alone. This gives me a reason to open my eyes in the morning and smile no matter what my scale reads that day.
Let’s take our eyes off ourselves and instead Worship Him – for He is the only one worthy of worship.
Christine Salinas is a lover of life, crazy pants, and big earrings. Jesus girl. Wife. Mom to 8. Homeschool mom. Former Barista. She has never met a stranger and loves to sing, dance, and ponder big things and future projects. Read Christine’s posts here.