Anxiously, I peered around me. Standing in line to receive my fruit, I saw other women leaving with their pair. Some had limes, lemons, and oranges. Others had grapes, plums or peaches. Still more had grapefruits, cantaloupes, or watermelons.

“God,” I moaned. “Please give me oranges. I just want oranges.”

The line moved up farther and it was finally my turn.

“Here you are!” said the Lord, with a smile on his face, as he handed me my pair. My face fell: I got cantaloupes.

“Lord, but I can’t! I want oranges! What am I supposed to do with these?!” I gasped. He could not seriously expect me to take these.

“Lord, are you certain? I see oranges for the next lady in line. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we switched…” my smile as wide as could be.

He looked at me patiently.

“Okay, okay, but seriously? How can I run with these? I’m going to have to strap them down or I’ll hit myself in the face. Have we put thought into how exactly I’m going to carry these? I swear, only certain stores are going to carry bags big enough to carry them! Do you understand how much those bags will cost? I’m not going to be able to buy the pretty bags either, like the women with oranges can. They won’t have pretty colors for this size…” I trailed off.

The Lord looked at me with much love and again, patience.

“Okay, I’m holding up the line here so I’ll just take these cantaloupes and be on my way. Thank you, Lord, for the cantaloupes… Just please create pretty bags for big fruit?” I walked away, sighing. I looked down. What would I do with these things?!

Or that’s how I pictured it went.

Thankfully, Victoria’s Secret exists so I can carry my cantaloupes in pretty colors.

I wish I could tell all the ladies who wanted grapefruits or cantaloupes that life with such a size is amazing. However, life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be on the other side of the fruit basket.

Seeds of Discontentment

Indeed, I wish I had oranges instead. Yes, you read that right. I would love a smaller pair of fruit.

One, I would be able to wear anything I wanted! I could buy fruit bags from every single store, instead of just one store. I could even buy fruit bags that were light duty!

Two, physical activity would be much easier. Running around with cantaloupes is like weight lifting in its own right. Seriously.

Three, smaller fruit would guarantee more eye contact! Because no matter what, there ain’t no hiding cantaloupes!

I could name so many more reasons why I would prefer smaller fruit, but they all stem from the above mentioned.

Yes, my reasons are logical for wanting oranges. However, careful analysis reveals my heart. Based on my reasons above, I seem to think life will be better or easier somehow. That the grass is greener on the other side.

But here’s the thing: women on the smaller fruit spectrum think that having cantaloupes would make life better or easier. That the grass is greener on the other side as well.

What a startling concept: that I have something coveted by many, yet I covet what they have. Isn’t that just bananas?

Be Fruitful with Gratitude

Heather put it best, in her book, Compared to Who?: “Beauty lies. It points out our destination and then puts us on a treadmill to get there.” Even if I had smaller fruit, I would focus on something else that I perceived lacking in my beauty. Like dark circles under my eyes, thighs that rub, bunionettes on my little toes. . . Of course, I have a list – and I bet you do too!

But I’m working towards renewing my mind, reframing my thoughts, to reflect Christ. In this journey, I’m coming to a point of acceptance in my life. No, not the “Love your body” acceptance of the world. And no, acceptance is not agreement. I am not going to love everything I see and that is okay.

Rather, it is seeing my body through the eyes of God. My very life, housed by this body, and my body itself, are gifts that He has bestowed upon me to carry out His work. He has included me in His plan to spread His Word. This truth is beautiful, awe-inspiring, and so very humbling. It makes any complaint I could have against my body so… shallow and hollow.

I love Heather’s idea of tilting the mirror up, focusing on Jesus, not myself. So I will continue my journey, however painful, towards becoming complete in Him alone. In this journey, I will stumble and fall, but the Lord will be there to catch me (and my cantaloupes).

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Kristin LeComte is a 30something woman who lives in Derry, New Hampshire, with her husband, David. Learning is a passion of hers, one that sparked pursuing an intimate relationship with Jesus to become all she can in Him. In her free time, she loves reading, writing, baking, working out, and playing with makeup. Read Kristin’s posts here.