I’m ashamed of it. Ashamed of this one part of my body. I’ve been told all my life that it’s unacceptable.
I have a small nose. Embarrassing, right? All my life I’ve seen women in magazines with big, bulbous noses. I know some women with small noses get plastic surgery for enlargement. I’m not against all cosmetic procedures, but this has been a personal struggle. It would be admitting defeat to go under the knife.
Meanwhile, I keep up the comparison game. I walk down the street and look at other women’s noses. If a woman’s nose is small like mine, I feel better. If her nose is big, I feel worse. It’s hit or miss.
You have to understand how under-endowed I am. It’s not like my nose is average. Or even a little smaller than most. It’s positively dainty. How am I supposed to feel when I see big-nosed women on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine? What man is going to want me?
I’m ashamed to admit that sometimes I go to the Internet for confirmation. I type, “Men who prefer women with small noses” in the search box. The ugliest part of my Internet search is that I’m married, and my husband is perfectly happy with my small nose. Shouldn’t his approval be all I need?
I hear all the women with big noses “complain.”
“You wouldn’t want to have a big nose like mine,” they say. “Men won’t look me in the eye. Their gaze always focuses just a little south. I know what they’re looking at.” Okay, I suppose that behavior would make me uncomfortable. And I hear all those magazine pictures of women with large, shapely noses are photo-shopped. What model needs a nose job when you can enhance your face with a computer?
Small Noses of the World Unite
Today I was trying to text some friends for support. They have small noses, too, so they know the struggle. But every time I tried to send the text, my phone gave me an error message. Can God block cell signals to get my attention? Sheesh, if God can raise the dead, blocking a cell signal is not a challenge. Maybe instead of going to my friends for help, I should pray. There’s a novel idea.
But Lord, just what do you propose to do? I’ve struggled with this for a long time. I guess it’s ridiculous that I’ve gone everywhere else for help except to you. So, please, unbrainwash my brain. In some part of my mind, Lord, I know the truth. I know my value is not in how my body looks. I’m created in Your image and redeemed by Christ. That’s where my value lies. Give me strength not to click on sites or buy magazines that say otherwise. Amen.
I hope some other woman will read this and discuss it with God, even if it’s some other body part that bothers her. Like, I don’t know, breast size of something. Not that I would know anything about that particular struggle.
Wendy Herrmann Smith is a 40-something mom of two. One kid she got the old fashioned way and one by adoption. Wendy writes adult Sunday School curriculum which is not as boring as it sounds. She can barely fill up an A-cup bra, and that’s okay. Really. She blogs at www.beautybattlefield.blogspot.com. Read Wendy’s posts here.