When I sat down to write this, I fully intended to write a deep, authentic, well-written, full-length post, like the ones typically seen on Compared to Who? But everything I drafted sounded like I was at a job interview wearing pinchy shoes, so I tossed them. Sometimes a poem will jump into my head when I’m supposed to be doing something else–like paying attention to the crosswalk light. “Dear 2017” jumped into my head a few days later as I faced the new year and toyed with my age old resolution to lose half my bodyweight in 365 days. I was idly thinking about how my bed complains when I sit on it and how I weigh twice as much as the young man I currently have a crush on when I caught myself. The most important thing about me is that I am LOVED by Jesus—fat or not, salad-loving runner girl (props to you, ladies) or not. I want that to be the thing I notice most about myself. It’s not true yet, but it’s truer than it was this time last year; Jesus is awesome and He changes people. Hence “Dear 2017”. Enjoy and be reminded you are LOVED, even when you forget you are. – Sharon-Rose

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perhaps you may have noticed

I’ve recently begun using the word

“fat”

to myself, about myself

with a smile

 

I am working hard

to scratch away this shame:

always yes I am fat

but also always yes

I am fabulous

unfinished

unsure

hopeful

hilarious

LOVED.

you may have seen

I have begun wearing

the things I want to wear

for example

I bought a pink cowboy hat

from a costume shop last fall

and every time I wear it

I feel brave

 

dear 2017

you cannot stop me

from learning to stand straight

in this body

you cannot stop me

from learning to be whole

in this body

 

I understand you will make me forget

that I have opened my hands

and discarded the timeworn insecurities

 

that I used to fold between my fingers

 

I accept you will succeed in reminding me

of all the names

I used to wear etched into my skin

 

but then a sunrise

a smile

or a sermon will happen

and I will remember:

dear 2017

consider this a last and formal warning

I have evicted shame

I have filed a restraining order against fear

and I have let LOVE buy property

 

oh and I rejoice to tell you

you cannot stop me

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Sharon-Rose Piwang and her three three jazzy-awesome siblings were raised in East Africa by a superhero mother. Her closest friend used to be Jo March from “Little Women”, but she’s getting better at friendships with humans. She likes purple, napping, cheeseburgers, poetry, libraries, housecleaning, imagining she’s in Glee music videos, trying to be dignified and mysterious, writing about herself in third person, hyphens, and long list-sentences. She is a follower of Christ who is extremely glad the Gospel means she doesn’t have to pretend her Christian walk is more cute and less messy than it is. Read Sharon-Rose’s posts here.