Holding On Too Tight to My Body Image

Today’s guest post is by Brandice Lardner from a site called a Joyful Plate. She’s walked through disordered eating and body image issues. Here’s what she’s learned. . .

Do you hold on to your body image? Is changing the way you look something that you just don’t want to let go of? I held onto my body weight with an iron fist. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t let it go. . .

Now, you and I, we may not be experts in construction but we would never build our house on sand! Dusty, unstable, swept away by the sea (Matthew 7: 24-29). But this was exactly what I was doing by building my life, my value, and my purpose on my size.

Matthew 7:26 (NLT) But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 

Today we are going to look at what we choose to build our lives upon. Then you can examine what is TRULY important to you!

Why We Hold On

I held onto my body image woes because I was afraid to let them go. There was a fear inside of me that questioned what would happen if I didn’t care so deeply and feel so badly about how I looked. I wondered, if I don’t dislike my body, what would motivate me to change? To look better? To avoid being “fat”?

You see, I didn’t trust that God cared about my body image. I believed that He was unaware that the fitness model body was “in” or that most of us would rather lose $1,000 than gain 20 pounds. What I missed was the fact that our God IS deeply concerned about all of the details of our lives. That He uses every struggle and pain not to just make us happy, but to make us holy.

And so He opened my eyes. I began to see the detriment that this idol cast into my life. I was underweight, unhealthy, unhappy, and infertile. Yep, my husband and I were trying to get pregnant and nothing was happening. I didn’t like the road that I was on but . . .Compared to who just keep swimming

To Whom Shall I Go?

I was faced with a decision. Do I continue on this path or do I take a big, scary step and see if God catches me? My fear of weight gain was deep but my fear of regret was deeper.

John 6:68 (NLT) Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.

I decided which “to whom shall I go”. Was I really willing to give up so much in my life for a jean size? Would I abandon my heart’s desire for worldly things?  Things that in 20 years I would regret with all my being. A knot builds in my stomach just thinking about it.

And so, I put on 15 pounds. I can still hardly believe this when I read it.

Gaining weight wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but is surely wasn’t “easy” And, God rewarded me- I became pregnant just 2 short months after regaining my cycle.

Where Obedience Blossoms

And now, I have blessings in my life beyond what I could have ever imagined. I am a mother to the most adorable, tender-hearted little girl and I gasp to think that I almost missed out, in a big way.

Yes, I still struggle accepting my weight. My old dieting brain still believes that surely I would be more valuable, more liked, more legit in my career if I were only thinner. But I see the true value in my life as a mom, wife, friend, and ultimately believer in Christ.

I pray that now my life says “come serve this Amazing God who sets you free!”.

What Do You Treasure?

As you can see, the things that we hold closest may NOT be the things that we value the most. If we are holding on tight to being a certain size or shape, it will help us to examine if this is actually something that is  MOST important to us. Consider taking some each day to really dream with God about your future and let Him birth in you a desire for the unique and incredible calling on YOUR life.


Brandice Lardner is a Nutrition Coach and blogger at A Joyful Plate. Her mission is to help women ditch diets and to fill their lives with God’s grace, a grace that overflows into a healthy lifestyle. Follow her on Facebook or Pinterest!

 

1 Comment
  • Kathleen Horacek
    July 7, 2017

    Oh Brandice, this made me cry. I’m so so upset. I need to be so thankful for my life after my ovarian cancer and can you believe that I’m angry because I gained weight instead of losing it. That’s some messed up thinking.

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