For many years I believed that if I could just lose the weight, then I would arrive.
Arrive where, I didn’t know specifically. I’m not sure I cared, because I knew it would certainly be a better place. A place where trying on clothes was an easy and enjoyable task. My lighter body would float with effortless grace when I walked into a room. Odds were, that as soon as my body became a more desirable size, my skin and hair would perfect themselves too. I’d be the total package. Life would be good, or at a minimum, better than it was without that small, enviable body.
But, thin is not a destination.
Skinny is not a place you arrive.
Thin-Land Isn’t Heaven
I’m not against losing weight. Don’t get me wrong. There’s biblical merit to staying healthy. I strive to keep my weight in check so that the host of diseases nipping at my heals won’t actually bite.
But, what I all too often forget is that even if I reach “thin” I haven’t made it to heaven.
Of course, we’d never verablize the lunacy. Sliding into a pair of size two jeans would be almost as good as meeting God himself. That’s crazy talk. Heresy.
What my heart believes, that’s another story. One filled with deception, lies and false promises.
My heart falls disillusioned to an idol of beauty–an idol that professes the pearly gates and gold lined streets found in thin land, not the heaven of the Bible.
I’m tempted, again and almost each day, to believe it.
The Illusion of Arrival
This isn’t my first chess game with the concept of arrival. I thought I had “arrived” when I finally became a college student. Then I, again, thought I’d arrived when I got that first job. A Master’s degree, marriage, motherhood, all of these milestones gave me more opportunities to learn that life events are not destinations. Rather, the only thing certain in life is that it keeps going and changing. Arrival–stationary stillness that comes from sameness, that’s actually physical death. Not life.
As I continue to swallow the sour truth that checking boxes off my bucket list doesn’t afford me the opportunity to coast through my remaining days on a lounge chair in paradise, I must also acknowledge the constant pace of my temptation. Losing weight does not land me anywhere miraculous. I may have renewed energy, vigor for life, and better doctor’s reports. But, ultimately, losing weight can’t compare to heaven. Yet, I see another thin woman on a billboard. I meet a woman my age who still wears a size four. And, I become disillusioned once again. Maybe things would be better if I could just get to thin land?
Strive For More Than Just a Good Body
Your life is more than just your body size and the digital read out on the scale. Your purpose in life goes much further than just attaining a certain dress size. Though you can savor in the success of reaching your health goals for a while, the work to stay there–to keep that thin body–doesn’t stop.
Thin is not a destination. Heaven is. How often to I spend time thinking, worrying, striving and plotting to get to the former, while forgetting that eternity lies in the latter.
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